Being a Childless Wife in the Reformed Baptist World [A Gentle & Quiet Spirit]

[99% of the time we post stuff by pastor who are 1689’rs or from those telling about the history surrounding our confession of faith (1689). 1% of the time though we break our rules and post stuff that doesn’t technically fit our site scope. That’s because some post can give us some good insights into and perhaps a different perspective on our Reformed Baptist world… this is one such post.]

A Gentle and Quiet Spirit:

Sad-MomI want to try and put into words what it’s like to be a childless wife, specifically as a Reformed Baptist. I honestly can’t write outside of who and what I am, so I thought I’d just be up front about that.

Reformed Baptists tend to lean towards big families. They tend to connect well with and be saturated with large, home schooled, ridiculous children. I can say that because I’m second oldest of five, home schooled, and moderately ridiculous myself. We were an average-sized family within the early Reformed Baptist movement surrounded by families with 7, 8, or even 12 kids. Now, more and more people cling to the 1689 and Confessionalism causing the Reformed Baptists to become more . . . interesting. We are growing to represent many different walks of life including childless couples. Looking around my own church, I see how much more diverse it is now than it was when I joined it almost twenty years ago. And I am, as a childless wife, part of that diversity…

These are my struggles and my hopes. I trust that other childless wives will find themselves here. I pray you may be encouraged in your trust in our mighty God….

Read “Being a Childless Wife”.

Voddie Baucham & his Wife on Courtship & Premarital Mentoring with Phillip & Jasmine Holmes [2-part AUDIO + more]

Jasmine with her father Voddie Baucham Jr. at her wedding
Jasmine with her father Voddie Baucham Jr. at her wedding

The FamilyLife® Today Broadcast aired the two-part audio they recorded from a morning devotion that took place at their “Love Like You Mean It® Marriage Cruise” just this past Valentines Day.

The aired programs were titled, “Parental Responsibilities for Courtship”:

The idea of courtship sounds archaic, but is that a fair assessment? See an example of biblical premarital mentoring with Voddie Baucham and his wife, Bridget. Also featuring their daughter Jasmine and her husband, Phillip Holmes.

28 min. mp3:

And “What He Must Be”:

Phillip Holmes was interested in Jasmine Baucham. But before he could pursue her, he had to go through her dad. See an example of premarital mentoring with Voddie and Bridget Baucham, their daughter Jasmine, and her husband, Phillip.

26 min. mp3:

Jasmine & Phillip Holmes on their wedding day
Jasmine & Phillip Holmes on their wedding day

In the first audio they mentioned a four part series entitled “What He Must Be” that they aired with Voddie Baucham in 2012 .

Pastor Voddie Baucham talks about the characteristics a young man must have to show that he’s ready to be married.

Other times that Pastor Voddie Baucham, Jr. was on FamilyLife Today® can be found here.

The books mentioned in the program include:


what he must be

How A. W. Pink showed that we should have family worship [PDF]

Scott Brown:

Here is the second article from the first chapter of A Theology of the Family. This article is written by A.W. Pink, and is titled, “Family Worship.”

A. W. Pink
A. W. Pink

A. W. Pink:

There are some very important outward ordinances and means of grace that are plainly implied in the Word of God, but for the exercise of which we have few, if any, plain and positive precepts; rather are we left to gather them from the example of holy men and from various incidental circumstances. An important end is answered by this arrangement: trial is thereby made of the state of our hearts. It serves to make evident whether, because an expressed command cannot be brought requiring its performance, professing Christians will neglect a duty plainly implied. Thus, more of the real state of our minds is discovered, and it is made manifest whether we have or have not an ardent love for God and His service. This holds good both of public and family worship. Nevertheless, it is not at all difficult to prove the obligation of domestic piety.

Read online [HTML] or as a PDF:

Download (PDF, 127KB)

Download the eBook version of the 1st chapter of ‘A Theology of the Family’ FREE through Jan. 16


We have a new website for A Theology of the Family: We will be posting video testimonials about the book, as well as updates and quotes!

Also, if you go on to and subscribe to the NCFIC mailing list anytime between now and next Friday (the 16th), you can download the eBook version of the first chapter of A Theology of the Family for FREE

‘Biblical Principles for Parenting’ Series [Keith Throop]

Keith Throop
Keith Throop

Keith Throop introduced this topic:

The Bible doesn’t give us a parenting manual – a specific list of “how to’s” for most any conceivable situation – but it does give us a number of important principles to apply in parenting our children, and, in order to adequately set forth these principles, I can think of no better place to begin that with the fact that God has revealed Himself to us as a Father. This means that we will discover the ideal of fatherhood expressed in His person both in relationship to Jesus, who is God’s Son by nature, and in relationship to those of us who believe and are thus God’s sons by adoption…


Thus each principle we will examine relates in one way or another back to God as our heavenly Father and our supreme example for parenting. The four principles will be as follows [one post devoted to each]:

  1. First, our heavenly Father teaches us the importance of letting our children know that we love them and that they are special to us. 
  2. Second, our heavenly Father teaches us the importance of the loving discipline of our children. 
  3. Third, our heavenly Father teaches us the importance of raising our children to know His Word. 
  4. Fourth, our heavenly Father teaches us the importance of a proper view of both a father’s and mother’s role in the family.

2014 Mt. Zion Bible Church’s Family Conf. ‘Music in Worship, Family, & the Text of Scripture’ AUDIO now online feat. Pollard, Riddle, & Brown

Speakers Jeff Riddle, Scott Brown, and Jeff Pollard.
Speakers Jeff Riddle, Scott Brown, and Jeff Pollard.

Scott Brown reports:

I spent the weekend speaking alongside Jeff Pollard and Jeff Riddle at Mt. Zion Bible Church‘s Family Conference. Jeff Pollard leads Chapel Library which is a marvelous worldwide literature distribution ministry. Jeff Riddle is a Reformed Baptist Pastor and Church Planter in Charlottesville, Virginia…

Jeff Pollard
Jeff Pollard


Jeff Pollard delivered a three part message on music, a topic in which he is well experienced.

Does Music Really Affect Us? | 11/14/2014 | [mp3]:

Can We Use Any Form of Music to Worship God? | 11/15/2014 | [mp3]:

How Does Music Affect the Worship of God? | 11/16/2014 | [mp3]:

Jeff Riddle
Jeff Riddle

The Text of Scripture:

Jeff Riddle gave three messages dealing with the text of Scripture and the history of textual criticism – a very important matter for those interested in the providential preservation of the Word of God. You can check out his work here at Stylos and here at Sovereign Logos. and here at Confessing Baptist. He discussed the differences between the traditional text and the modern critical text, and why it matters which source text and translation method your Bible uses.

The Text: from the Apostles to the Reformation | 11/14/2014 | [mp3]:

The Text: from the Enlightenment to Critical Text | 11/15/2014 | [mp3]:

The Text: Postmodern Challenges to the Text of the NT | 11/15/2014 | [mp3]:

Scott Brown
Scott Brown


I [Scott Brown] gave four different messages dealing with different aspects of the family, such as raising children, the responsibilities of fathers and husbands, the gift of singleness, and the Christian family in corporate worship.

The Christian Family – Corporate Worship, a Means to Growth | 11/13/2014 | [mp3]:

Husbands/Fathers – a Position of Tremendous Responsibility and Needed Grace | 11/14/2014 | [mp3]:

Singleness – Serving the Lord Where You Are Wholeheartedly | 11/15/2014 | [mp3]:

Raising Children God’s Way for God’s Glory and the Good of the World | 11/16/2014 | [mp3]:

[RSS of the Conference Audio]

“A Theology of the Family” edited by Jeff Pollard & Scott T. Brown [New Book] Pre-Order for 50% Off through Oct. 28, 2014 [NCFIC]


Scott Brown writes:



This book presents a perspective on the family largely forgotten by the modern church. There are fifty-six authors featured in this volume; authors such as: John Bunyan, Jonathan Edwards, John Gill, William Gouge, Matthew Henry, Martin Luther, A.W. Pink, J. C. Ryle, R. C. Sproul, Charles Spurgeon and Thomas Watson. Each of them give a powerful testimony that the twenty-first-century church needs to be reminded of what she used to believe about family life. These authors bring a measure of the correction and the balm necessary to heal our amnesia and return us to biblical order…


This volume is a spiritual buffet for Christian family life, a delicious smorgasbord of short selections largely drawn from treasured Reformed writers. It dishes up biblical truth, loading the table with meaty explanation, sweet comfort, and well-spiced exhortation for fathers, mothers, children, and young people.

Dr. Joel R. Beeke, President of Puritan Reformed theological Seminary, Grand Rapids, Michigan, and author of A Puritan Theology

There are many books on the family, so why another one? This is not “another one”! I commend A Theology of the Family because it is a compilation of some of the best articles on the subject of the family from proven teachers of the last five hundred years.

Conrad, Mbewe, pastor of Kabwata Baptist Church, in Lusaka Zambia, and author of Foundations for the Flock: Truths About the Church for All the Saints

We are all placed in great debt to those whose vision and labors have produced this amazing collage of godly wisdom concerning this all important issue. With God’s blessing upon its pages, may the usefulness of this book in our day exceed our highest expectations and our most bold prayers. May the same be true for future generations, should our Lord delay his return.

Albert N. Martin, served as a pastor of Trinity Baptist Church of Montville, New Jersey for forty-six years and is author of Preaching in the Holy Spirit; Grieving, Hope, and Solace: When a Loved One Dies in Christ; and You Lift Me Up: Overcoming Ministry Challenges

…There is probably no greater threat to our culture than the demise of godly family life. There is no certainly greater resource for a godly family life (outside the Bible) than the vast and blessed legacy contained in the Reformed tradition of teaching on this subject. The present volume gives easy access to that vast resource for godly family life…. May God be pleased through this volume to raise up godly families and through them to strengthen and stabilize godly churches.

Sam Waldron, Dean and professor of Systematic Theology at Covenant Baptist Theological Seminary, and author of A Man as Priest

The godly Christian family faces unrelenting pressures from a fallen world (and sadly, sometimes from misguided churches) which threatens to dismantle it or at least redefine it on its own terms… This book is a spiritual treasure chest filled with pure gold from proven writers both old and new. It touches on a variety of subjects beneficial for every family member. I heartily recommend it.

Pastor Rob Ventura, Grace Community Baptist Church, North Providence, RI, Co-Author of A Portrait of Paul and Spiritual Warfare

A Theology of the Family is an excellent anthology featuring a wealth of mostly-forgotten material from great Christian leaders of the past 500 years… In fact, the current dearth of biblical wisdom, combined with the rapid decline of the family as an institution, illustrates precisely why the material in this book is more truly relevant and more desperately needed than ever.

Phil Johnson, Executive Director of Grace to You, Sun Valley, CA


Theology_of_the_Family Pre-Order

The Wrong Answer to the Real Difficulties of Modern “Courtship” + Biblical Principles Concerning Dating/Courtship [Rex Semrad]

Rex Semrad with Daughters
Rex Semrad with Daughters

Rex Semrad, a member of Grace Baptist Church, Jackson, MS., interacts with a blog post making its way around the Internet titled, Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed” by Thomas Umstattd Jr. Rex’s blog begins:

When dealing with emotionally charged issues it is quite common to find muddled thinking on both sides. I have found this to be particularly the case regarding the subject of dating/courtship. I have three adult sons, and daughters who are 17 & 18, so I’ve had to give the subject a lot of thought. A few years ago I scoured the internet for ideas about courtship and dating, and was unable to find anyone promoting a view that I could entirely agree with. On the courtship side, I found what I would consider overreaction to dating culture. I even heard some insist that it was wrong or sinful for a father to take his daughter’s feelings into consideration when he dealt with the issue of whom his daughter should marry. On the other side I found a great deal of misrepresentation of what courtship proponents believe. I remember one respected Reformed Baptist pastor, in a series on Christian dating, insisting that the best example in the Bible of what courtship adherents propose was Samson, but they were unwilling to admit it because of the dire results. I do not know what specific courtship literature he was responding to, but I have a hard time believing that anyone is recommending that the proper way to find a spouse is for a young man to find a woman who it is unbiblical for him to marry, and then insist that his parents arrange a marriage with her!


So I have come to my current views on courtship/dating, not by following any model proposed by a group on either side, but rather by my own meditations upon the word of God. Indeed, the Bible does not set forth a specific pattern for courtship, but there are a number of Biblical principles that we must take into consideration. I have never pressed my conclusions on others, nor am I claiming to have all the answers. My wife pointed me to a recent blog post by a former proponent of courtship that she saw a friend endorse, and I saw a number of problems with it. As we discussed the matter she suggested that I write a blog in response and my immediate answer was “No way”. However, the amazing number of Christians I find praising this blog has, I feel, forced me to point out what I see as a number of fundamental flaws…

Read “The Wrong Answer to the Real Difficulties of Modern ‘Courtship'” [link includes the 17 minute readout below]

courtship marriageHere is his follow-up were he aims to thoroughly discuss the Biblical principles he thinks we need to keep in mind and practical advice as to how we can try work these things out in the context of church and culture. It concludes:

…As I stated from the beginning, I do not have all the answers to the difficult questions regarding dating/courtship.  I do believe I have laid out some vital biblical principles that must be kept in mind as we guide and direct our children in their search for a godly spouse.  It is my intention to leave the comments section open and hope others will provide other ideas that will be of assistance to others as well as myself.  Please refrain from responses like, “Well, my spouse and I did such and such when we dated, and we have a strong marriage.”, if your purpose is to prove that some biblical principle can safely be ignored.  There are happily married couples who followed biblical principles in courtship/dating, just as there are happily married couples who followed none.  My wife and I were unbelievers and our relationship before marriage couldn’t have been much less biblical, but God has graciously given us an incredible marriage.  That does not in any way lead me to believe that it isn’t important that my children take every biblical principle into consideration.  What I’m interested in receiving, are ideas that will help us guide our children in following such principles while searching for a spouse.

Read “Biblical Principles Concerning Dating/Courtship” [22 min. readout]

Cheare on family piety [Brian L. Hanson]

church05Brian L. Hanson, our last podcast  interviewee, writes:

Though Abraham Cheare (1626–1668), a Baptist Puritan minister from Devon (England), did not have children of his own, his affection and interest in children were conspicuous in the numerous poems he wrote addressed to children in his A Looking-Glass for Children (published posthumously in 1673), a collection which the notable Benjamin Keach (1640–1704) commended in the introduction of his 1691 edition of Instructions for Children, stating, “Moreover I would have you get that little Book called, ‘A Token for Children’ and another called, ‘A Looking-Glass for Children.’ Next to your Bible, pray read them pretty Books.”


Apart from his impressive compendium of children’s poems, Cheare devoted some pages to the subject of family piety. The following serve as examples…

Read “Cheare on family piety” [3 min. readout]

A Christian Husband’s Marriage Catechism [D. Scott Meadows]

marriage_2074156bFrom Reformed Baptist Fellowship:

Providentially, many Christian husbands are married to unbelieving wives. This is a great trial for them, especially if the woman is very ungodly. Pastoral counseling discovers that many of these brothers in the Lord are not clear about how God wants them to relate to their wives in such a case. I have prepared this brief catechism for some guidance, suggesting that he should memorize it and find supporting Scripture references for its counsel, with careful study of those passages.


I am convinced that even though these are basic biblical truths, many Christian husbands would know more peace and confidence in their God-ordained role if they called them to mind every day for practical application in their marriages. Also, these truths should prove helpful even when the wife is a godly woman.


May the Lord use this simple catechism to bless His precious sons in difficult marriages. 

Read: A Christian Husband’s Marriage Catechism

A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism + Addendas [D. Scott Meadows]

wedding marriageFrom Reformed Baptist Fellowship:

Providentially, many Christian wives are married to unbelieving husbands. This is a great trial for them, especially if the man is very ungodly. Pastoral counseling discovers that many of these sisters in the Lord are perplexed about how God wants them to relate to their husbands in such a case. I have prepared this brief catechism for some guidance, suggesting that she should memorize it and find supporting Scripture references for its counsel, with careful study of those passages.


I am convinced that even though these are basic biblical truths, many Christian wives would know more peace and confidence in their God-ordained role if they called them to mind every day for practical application in their marriages. Also, these truths should prove helpful even when the husband is a godly man.


May the Lord use this simple catechism to bless His precious daughters in difficult marriages…

Read “A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism”.

Update July 11, 2014: Addenda, Part 1: Biblical Support of “A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism”

Update July 15, 2014: Addenda, Part 2: Clarification of “A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism”

Audio for the 2014 Reformation Montana “The Family” Conf. now online. Feat: Voddie Baucham, JD Hall + more

Reformation Montana

Conference Audio:

All audio [RSS]

2:00-2:50              Chris Rosebrough 
3:00-350               Justin Peters
4:15-5:00              Sye Ten Bruggencate
6:45-7:45              Justin Peters
8:10-9:00              Chris Rosebrough   

9:00-10:50            Voddie Baucham  
1015-1045            Q&A with Sye Ten Bruggencate
11:00-12:00           Phil Johnson  
2:00-2:50              Voddie Baucham   
3:15-3:50              Q&A with Chris Rosebrough
4:15-5:15              Phil Johnson     
7:00-7:50              Voddie Baucham  
8:10-8:45              Panel Discussion (with all Speakers)  


9:00-10:00           Phil Johnson 
10:15-11:15           JD Hall   
1130-12:30           Voddie Baucham  

reformation montana

Oct. 30 – Nov. 1, 2014 “Church & Family” 2014 Conf. in Asheville, NC feat. Scott Brown, Jeff Pollard, Jason Dohm, Don Hart, Dan Horn + more [NCFIC]


The Wells of Salvation for Church and Family – Isaiah 12:3

At this conference we will continue the work of rebuilding the most powerful of God’s earthly discipleship and evangelism engines – The Church and the Family. How is this possible? It is possible when church and family life are joyfully watered from the wells of salvation, “With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation,” (Isaiah 12:3). This text identifies the thread that we will pull throughout this gathering.


There will also be a pre-conference:


Church Leaders Conference

What does it mean to shepherd the church of God? At this church leaders conference we will attempt to explain some of the critical matters that must be attended to by shepherds.


Practical Suggestions on the Attendance of Children in Public Worship [Jeremy Walker]

sleep baptist church kids childrenFrom the Banner of Truth article entitled Attendence of Children in Public Worship Services, Jeremy Walker writes,

The constant presumption of Scripture is that children were present in the worship of the people of God. In Nehemiah’s time, men and women and all those who could hear with understanding gathered to hear Ezra the scribe read the Law (Neh 8.1-3; Ezr 10.1). Moses certainly anticipated the literal ‘children’ of Israel to be present when the Law was read (Dt 31.12-13). Paul’s letters, intended to be read to the churches, assume the intelligent presence of children (Eph 6.1-4; Col 3.20), and children were present when the Lord Jesus taught (Mt 18.1-5; 19.13-15)…


With a view to a more careful adherence to the Biblical model, we therefore suggest that children of at least school age (although there need be no arbitrary distinction — some younger children might be well able to be present at an earlier age) should be present in the public meetings of the church…


The children should sit quietly and attentively, endeavouring — to the best of their ability — to participate reverently and intelligently in the various exercises of worship. To attain such a goal requires that parents be diligent and thorough in preparing their children for attendance at and participation in the public meetings. In order to help parents, and the church, accomplish their Biblical responsibility, we have prepared the following guidelines, which we hope will act as an aid to such preparation.





1] Conduct family worship daily…


2] Seek to order things in your home so that children have adequate rest…


3] Aim to arrive in good time…


4] Accomplish necessary tasks (such as getting a drink, or using the toilet) before the beginning of the service.


5] Assume that your child will sit through the entire service unless there is a particular reason for leaving….


6] Train your sons and daughters to be good listeners, sitting with good posture and focusing their eyes on the one leading the service or preaching…


7] Remember that leaving a public meeting (even for legitimate reasons) is a distraction, at least to those nearby, and that such a departure interrupts your worship of God…


8] If it is predictable that you will need to take your child out of a service to train or discipline him or her, aim to take seats near the doors of the meeting room, where you can get in and out with least distraction to others…


9] Encourage children to continue behaving well… after a public meeting…


10] Where possible, follow up the preaching and teaching with your children…


11] Remember the power, for good or evil, of your own example in preparing for and participating in the public meetings of the church.

Read the entire article [9 min. readout]

[HT: Scott T. Brown]